New dads; I’ve got news for you. I don’t care if you’re covered in milky sick and are subjected to repeated bouts of sleep deprivation, it DOES NOT entitle you to let your style game slip. In fact, putting extra effort in colour matching and polishing your shoes can, in fact, make you feel human again – when in reality you just feel like a useless, spent, worthless husk of a man.
I thought it would be interesting to take a look at how celebs dads have dealt with the challenge. So who manages to get it right, and who needs to employ a stylist (or sack their current one):
Who gets it right?
A proper dandy and no mistake. Anybody that dresses like the bastard child of a jockey and the lord of the manor is ok in my book. He’s not scared of colours or patterns clashing either, which is what I’m going to have written on my tombstone.
Still a little too fond of that jeans/hoodie/leather jacket combo that was cool in 2004, at least he likes to be a bit playful with his style and most of his ensembles look sharp. He probably looks best in black tie and his headdress game is strong too. Just throw those bloody short suits in the bin please, you’re a father now.
I hesitated about this one but only because his suit trousers always seem a little bit too tight, but perhaps it’s because he was a footballer and therefore has overdeveloped quads and hamstrings, who knows? However, compared to other pundits he’s light years ahead. He’s started to ditch the shiny suits and even knows the rules about not matching your pocket square to your tie. Consistent.
My hero: the straightest-looking gay man in fashion. Decreed quite rightly that shorts should never be seen on a gentleman, unless on the beach. Wears impeccable suits, has four baths a day, was creative director of Gucci and Saint Laurent AND his latest film is a potential masterpiece. I kind of hate the guy but man is he sharp.
Despite looking a little bit like that crumpled stranger you find crashed out on your sofa the morning after a party, Jarvis does a good line in Camden vintage clothes shop chic. He always favours a tie, his glasses game is very strong, and he tries to dress his son just like him, which is the dream we all dream of…
Not a million miles away from Mr Cocker sartorially but perhaps skewed more towards the geography/maths/physics teacher aesthetic. A fan of ties, button down Oxford collars and colour blocking (as is anyone worth their salt), Richard also cleverly offsets the geek chic with a nicely tempered afro. Keep it foolish!
Who gets it wrong?
What the hell is someone with this guy’s cheekbones doing dressing like a rubbish vampire? And those coloured sunglasses – WTF? When he dresses more conservatively on the red carpet (which is rarely) he definitely has all the elements of a dandy, but it’s all far too shabby and a bit too louche. Do up your bloody shirt buttons man!
For someone who purports to have the ear of many a designer, this monumental egotist needs to try harder. Repeatedly wearing a white oversized T-shirt with leather trousers and a large overcoat doesn’t make for a signature style, it just looks like you don’t really care. Would love to see him in a tweed 3-piece suit.
Classic ageing rock star dad vibes. I’ve always been a little bit suspicious of calling him ‘cool’ because his retro-chic always seemed so studied, but he’s written some decent tunes and seems pretty chilled-out. However, his penchant for leather trousers and ripped jeans ages him badly. Stick to peacoats and suits mate, you pull those off well.
Robert Downey Jnr
Dear oh dear. Those coloured shades again. Suits with hi-tops? Who does he think he is, Tini Tempah? I get the shabby chic/ex-junkie angle but that’s the obvious thing to do. I suggest he goes as sharp, muted and as dapper as possible. Robert, do up that top button and polish your brogues!