Alternative lullabies

As the father of a young baby, I'm often struggling to justify my existence. Between changing a wet nappy at 5.30am and trying to collapse our ridiculous Rube Goldberg buggy, I often feel as useful as an inflatable dartboard. However, at around 2am this morning - in between sterilising my wife's breast pump and blow drying a damp baby grow ready for the next nappy change - I had a bit of a brainwave as to how I could actually make myself useful around the house....